Being magnetic is a quality that works to your advantage in all areas of life, especially dating. And what better time to perfect this skill than before Dating Sunday? On our busiest day of the year — January 5, 2020 — we’re predicting an 80% spike in new singles on Match, leading to more than 60 million messages and over 600,000 new dates during our peak season. So what are you waiting for? Stand out from the crowd with this new trick up your sleeve. Dating Expert, Francesca Hogi, shares her hot tips for having the best date of the New Year right off the bat.

Everyone likes people who make us feel special and seen for who we really are. When you authentically accomplish this, you become magnetic. 

Even if it’s not an ability that comes naturally to you, you can still cultivate your own brand of magnetism. Here’s how:

#1 Put your focus on other people

What makes one person more magnetic than another? Trust me: It’s not the person who talks about themselves all the time, or who’s self conscious during social interactions. We’re drawn to people who make us feel seen and special.

When meeting new people, it’s natural to want them to see you as interesting. However, when you shift your focus from how you’re being perceived to what others think and how they feel, it makes you irresistible. And who doesn’t love that? 

#2 Words and actions matter

Whether you’re on a first date or in line at a coffee shop, a simple action like looking someone in the eyes and genuinely smiling at them can draw them to you. 

When you go on a date, think of questions that show you really care about their dreams, interests and personality. And be prepared to answer those questions in return. 

For example, instead of “So tell me about your job” ask “What do you love about what you do?” And if they hate their job, ask them “If you could do anything at all, what would it be?” or “What did you dream of doing when you were a kid?” 

Mutually sharing your dreams with another person is an amazing tool to feel more connected in a short amount of time.  

#3 Read social cues

Pay attention to whether or not your actions are being received as intended. If you’re sending messages and they’re not responding, or you’re trying to have a conversation and they’re not responding, move on. Remember – being magnetic is about drawing others to you, not chasing after them. 

#4 Don’t take rejection personally 

You’re not for everyone and everyone’s not for you. That’s OK! No one is liked by everyone. It could be for reasons that have nothing to do with you, like they only date 6’4” redheads and that’s not you. 

Don’t take it personally and don’t let disappointment over someone who’s not for you keep you from meeting the one who is! 

#5 Authenticity matters

If your heart is in the right place — the place of wanting to make a connection as a benefit to you and the other person –you’re likely to succeed.

If you’ve never approached dating and connecting with others in this way, I urge you to try. You can start practicing right away — see what happens when you aim to make your co-workers, friends, or the person on the other side of the counter feel seen and special, even if it’s only for the minute you’re interacting. 

Worst case scenario is you make someone’s day. Best case scenario is you become completely irresistible to your future someone special. 

Happy Dating!