The complexities that come with dating as a single parent can range from “When is my date worthy to meet my child?” to “Am I even ready to date?”
And we at Match understand this better than anyone — 44% of our members are single parents. This Saturday, ABC will debut a new show, Help! I Need Love! which features an in-depth story of a single mother’s journey to find love again.
We sat down with Paul Brunson, matchmaker and host of the new show and we literally felt all the feels hearing Paul describe his experience while filming this show. You can watch the pilot of Help! I Need Love! this Saturday, May 27th at 10 p.m. EST so be sure to tune in!
Q: How is Help! I Need Love! different from other dating shows on TV?
Paul: It’s really unique in that it was filmed over the course of an entire year, making it the longest filmed dating show in the history of television. Most dating shows are shot in short bursts, so for example; if a couple was to go on a date, they would have an hour or so on the date before the producer would cut it for the take. With Help! I Need Love! we would just let the camera roll. It didn’t matter whether the date was an hour or 3 hours. We were laser focused on capturing the raw, real footage of the story.
Q: Why was it important to you to focus the journey a single mother?
Paul: Single mothers are often the most under-represented segment of the dating population in popular culture. Seriously! Most shows on TV today focus on young (mid-20 year olds) without kids and looking for their first love. But the reality is that 10 million households are led by single moms and over 50% of kids today are born to single moms.
Men will often come to me and say that they’re looking for a woman who will truly want a committed relationship – well let me tell you, most single mothers are the most committed individuals you’ll find. Therefore, it was even more important for us to tell this story. This show is about real people looking for love. You won’t see any individuals looking to become reality TV star famous. Each and every single cast member is a genuine and imperfect –you’ll be surprised to see guys that flaunt their dad bods.
Q: What was your most surprising takeaway from filming the show?
Paul: The most enlightening takeaway for me was how selfless these mothers were. We shot with multiple mothers and it was amazing the amount of love, attention and energy they gave to everyone else, BUT themselves.
And what they didn’t realize was that by not setting time aside for themselves, they had made it harder to create meaningful relationships with others.
Until you can truly care and love yourself, you can’t really love anyone.
Q: If you could only give one piece of advice to singles, what would it be?
Paul: Most people believe that they have high standards. The truth: they really don’t. All you have to do is look at the people they surround themselves with. Standards are what you need in life. If you surround yourself with people who don’t support or value your needs, you’re not going to live the life you want.
Hold true to your values, your values will guide your standards. And sticking to your high standards will lead to a phenomenal life.
Q: What is the most common mistake singles are making?
Being negative! Your mindset creates your reality. If you always look at the glass as half empty, you’ll never see all the opportunities ahead of you. A positive belief system is the foundation to happiness. If you join Match telling yourself it is not going to work out and you aren’t going to meet anyone, then it’s NOT. The difference is mindset. Surround yourself with positive people and content, and you’ll find the life you’ve dreamed of!
Be sure to check out Help! I Need Love! Saturday 5/27 at 9/10 EST on ABC.
About Paul: Mentor, Entrepreneur, and Television Host, Paul Carrick Brunson (@PaulCBrunson) is recognized as one of the most influential small business leaders in the world. The former Investment Banker founded PCBA in 2009, an award-winning matchmaking agency that was acquired in 2016. Appearing as the co-host on Oprah Winfrey Network’s Lovetown, Oprah Winfrey notes, “Paul is much more than a matchmaker!” Paul is also the host and executive producer of the HELP! I Need Love! primetime docu-series on ABC.