The Art of Being Uncomfortable

by Laurie Gerber

Are you one of the 99% of the population who feel nervous in a room full of unfamiliar faces? Congratulations … now lose the jitters and go strike up a conversation!

The truth is, everyone feels uncomfortable when they break out of routines and try something new. Going on a first date, asking for a raise, stepping into an exercise class, attending a dating event … these situations are uncomfortable simply because they are new; we haven’t experienced them yet, and can’t predict how they will turn out.

We’re afraid to leave the “comfort zone,” which in this case should really be called the “predictable zone.” Since new or out-of-the-ordinary things rarely happen in your comfort zone, the odds are slim that you will encounter the love of your life while you are there.

So step out of it and see what happens!

A dating event isn’t just a chance to meet a potential mate. It’s also a great opportunity for you to develop a skill that will have a huge impact across all areas of your life – not just finding love, but in your career, friendships, and your relationship with yourself.

It’s the art of being uncomfortable.

Yes, it’s a skill you can learn and master! Use the following tips to practice at your next dating event and see how being uncomfortable can be a wonderful thing.

Be Prepared

Before you go out, brainstorm five awesome conversations you want to strike up. “Where was your last great vacation?” or “What would you do if you won the lottery?” Have your own thoughtful responses lined up and be the conversation they remember from the night.

Bring Your Flair

What do you want to be remembered for? It could be your warm smile, your sense of humor, your passion for a particular cause or interest. Put that at the forefront of your mind and let it shine!

Get Funny

Isn’t humor the key to enjoying life, truly? There’s no better way to handle the discomfort of dating (and hearing/saying “no”!) than with a little lightness and laughter. Humor changes the whole dynamic of a conversation – it reduces tension, builds trust, and puts everyone at ease. The shy people in the room will feel so grateful to you for breaking the ice.

At its core, love itself is all about being uncomfortable. There are so many unknown variables at play when you open up to another person; uncertainty, vulnerability, honesty and trust … that is where love takes root and grows into a relationship.

Being uncomfortable can be a beautiful experience, if you allow yourself to have it. Especially when looking for love, you have nothing to lose and everything gain.

P.S. Are you interested in learning other ways to approach your dating life and beyond?

Handel Group offers Free Consultations on the life area of your choice. Call today to get a feel for the Handel Method® and see how we can help you find The One, be the best version of yourself and live the life of your dreams.