A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of three months turned to me at my neighborhood bar where we were enjoying a margarita and — with a sullen look on his face — said to me, “You’re not my type.” You would think this would send me into breakup reconnaissance mode, but I didn’t flinch, because he wasn’t my type, either — which is exactly what I told him.
But what difference did it make? We were enjoying each other’s company (as long as we stayed away from conversations about religion or politics). My “type” would live in Manhattan, or at least work there. He would have graduated college. And while we’re at it, he’d be six feet tall and look like George Clooney, too. It works both ways; his type would look like Salma Hayek.
So what are we doing together? That’s what my new boyfriend was wondering that night at the bar. We’ve both gone over it — with ourselves, each other and trusted friends. But the more time that passes, the more things like religion, politics, education, income level, geography and love of pets all seem to become more manageable. Not because “we’re in love,” but because what you really want isn’t always something that can be distilled down to a list of demographic preferences.
We knew it was fine to think outside of the virtual online dating box when it came to our dating preferences and allow the possibility of someone stirring us up a bit.
And speaking of “stir,” that’s where we met — at a Match.com Stir event. The downtown Manhattan restaurant that hosted my first Stir event was billed as “an exotic time-out-of-time place” on their website. I wasn’t looking for him at this “mysterious, adventurous, decadent” venue; I was looking for my perfect match. I don’t think his profile would ever have shown up in my daily matches, nor would mine have shown up in his. He’s no George Clooney, and I’m no Salma Hayek. At the Stir event, our eyes didn’t meet from afar, angels didn’t surround us, and violins didn’t start playing. But something else happened: He made me laugh, and kept me laughing all night. I didn’t think I was particularly interested in meeting someone with a great sense of humor. I’d always thought of myself as the funny one in my relationships, so that quality never made it onto my list of must-haves. But more than that, I felt instantly like he was there for me; that I could count on him. Thank you Match and Stir!
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