The Science Behind First Date Bedroom Behavior by Dr. Helen Fisher

At any given moment you can find singles in coffee shops, on park benches, and at fancy restaurants meeting for their first date. But with all the changing rules in dating, who knows what’s appropriate pre-, during, and post-date these days? Match.com’s Chief Scientific Advisor Dr. Helen Fisher presents what makes singles tick during that pivotal first meeting.

First date bedroom behavior

I‘m single.  And I can’t help looking at statistics about sex and love and wondering where I “fit in” attitude and behavior wise. This time, it’s with first dates—it’s so difficult to know what’s appropriate! So Match.com pulled from their 2012 Singles in America study, a host of data about what singles do, how they think, and what they want on a first date.

Over 5,000 men and women of every background, sexual orientation, ethnicity, age and location answered our questions, including:  How many dates have you been on in 2012?  How did you meet your most recent first date?  Who invited whom? And more. But let’s get to the juicy part:  Sex.  What do American singles regard as appropriate sexual behavior on a first date?

A peck on the cheek makes the cut; over 90% of both sexes approve of this. Holding hands is also fashionable, with over 84% of both men and women regarding this as suitable on a first date. But when it comes to kissing, men favor kissing much more than women! Some 88% of men versus 65% of women regard smooching as “very appropriate” or “somewhat appropriate.” Could it be that men are more eager to kiss because they carry traces of testosterone in their saliva and unconsciously hope to share a bit of this stimulant to increase their partner’s sexual desire?  Men tend to like sloppier kisses– perhaps for this unconscious reason.

Cuddling also gets more votes from men (76% of men regard snuggling as “very” or “somewhat appropriate” on a first date, while only 56% of women do). But men may be expressing a primal instinct here as well.  Cuddling triggers the oxytocin system in the brain, stimulating feelings of attachment.  Perhaps men intuitively hope to trigger not only the sex drive, but also feelings of tenderness and affection.

But how about sex— what’s proper these days? Well, Dallas might be your mecca if you are hoping to have sex on the first date. Some 31% of singles regard it as “very appropriate” or “somewhat appropriate.” And 41% of New York men agree, the most of any city polled.

But less than 10% of men and 2% of women actually have sex upon meeting. I’m not surprised. Sex activates five of your 12 cranial nerves, engulfing your brain with information about how your partner tastes, smells, feels, sounds and looks— as well as broadcasting much about how you are.  It can trigger feelings for romantic love or attachment too. Sex is not casual. And it can most certainly hurl you into a new relationship. Apparently most singles avoid this intimacy until they get to know a bit more about “him” or “her.”

It is well known in scientific circles that we tend to overestimate the amount of sex our peers are having. But this data clearly shows we aren’t losing out… at least not on the first date. Singles are far more savvy about their love lives than we give them credit for. We fit in.

For more information on first dates or the Singles in America 2012 study, visit our blog.

  • Copper

    You go, Blanche. ;-)

  • Ted Michaels

    This is a very informative article….thanks

  • gary

    if a girl is willing to have sex on the first date, i see it as a sign that she is not interested in me romantically.if i want to have sex first date, that is what it means. Kiss first date should only happen if it feels natural…no reason to force it.

  • John Smith

    In the last 2 years i’ve had sex with at least 10 different ladies on the first date. Best find out if you’re compatible sooner rather than later.

    • Verovol

      Compatible how? Certainly not emotionally so you using Match.com as a service to find sexual partners?

    • utah guy

      Can’t agree more, sex is a huge part of a relationship, see how well you work together intimately right out of the shute.

    • Charlie

      10 different ladies on the first date?? How many 2nd, 3rd & 4th (dinner or activity) dates have you had with these women. & have any turned into “relationships”?

    • Gregory Dalla Santa

      Ha! Reply to: John Smith
      That must be your goal then. I don’t believe that. Because what you are saying is,
      all luck was in your hands and you believe sex comes first. (men lie as well and that does not help statistics). Most women that love and care for themselves wait for sex. Why is finding out if you are sexually compatible more important than a woman knowing if you fit the picture. Women and some men, look at the bigger picture. Anyone who has desire to have sex on the first date without control to wait, IMO is plainly an animal. NO CONTROL Like the ones that can’t get it out without spewing himself before sex happens. I hear men say sex is 50% of the relationship. Hmm or is it sex and physical attraction that is 50% of the relationship? I think neither.
      I have the desire to sex it up with any woman who attracts me. That does not mean its going to happen. Just like a hot car, I like alot of hot cars. But which one am I ultimately going to stay with? If I have sex with all the cars, I am a slut. And still without that special one. Instead, I get to know them all. Break it down to three weeding out the bad ones then I choose which one best fits with my criteria.

  • Eugene

    Less than 2% of women have sex on the first date? That is laughable. Maybe less than 2% of women REPORT having sex on the first date. But as we all know, people lie to themselves, women especially, and especially when it comes to sex.

    Take a decent looking women in her 20′s and 30′s, and if she’s single…I assure you, more than “2%” are having sex on the first date. That statistic is laughable.

    The other part of these study conclusions that are absurd is that you take women’s statements about “kissing” and “sex” on a first date to mean something. Just because a women says kissing/sex is somewhat inappropriate or very inappropriate, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want sex on the first date! Women want sex, they just want the guy to take the lead and all the responsibility! If all women said that sex on a first date was appropriate, they’d think of themselves and sluts, and no women wants to be slutty.

    So any guy reading this…just because a women says it’s inappopriate, and even if women reading this disagree, remember this one rule : What women SAY, and what women actually WANT and RESPOND to, are two completely different things!

    Enjoy,

    • sensual guy

      Quite right,Eugene.This study gives the impression that we are still living in queen Victoria’s days,when it comes to women and sex.Not so, at all.Women want sex on the first day of dating just like men.I see nothing wrong with sex on the first date,as long as both of you can agree to take that road with out pressure.

    • Carol

      I totally agree with you!

    • Jack

      There is NO!!, and there is oh, no… Two very different statements. The oh, no is the woman wanting the man to be responsible for her “having to give in” and not being responsible. I have spent about 23 of my 71 years as a single man and know the difference having encountered it numerous times. Do NOT ignore NO!. But try not to be fooled by oh, no.

      Jack

      .

    • S

      You are fool and don’t know what you are talking about….. -A Woman!!

  • Birdie

    We all know what happens once you have sex on the first date – Men disappear and the chase is over with. No phone calls, no flowers and no other dates. Hmmm… could this be the reason why I only have 50 First dates? If a Man wants to pursue an authentic and meaningful relationship, he knows he will need to be a gentleman on the first date and then we will see how things progress thereafter. Maybe I am on old fashioned girl, but I still believe that men will not want to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free.

    • Flower356

      I too still feel this way Birdie. Men will be men. Enjoy the ride while men are motivated ladies…make them wait, and I believe they will respect you more in the long run.

    • Guest

      On the other hand, why should women buy the whole pig when all they want is a little sausage? Not original but the same principle – if either men or women are going to treat the other gender as “something to get/conquer” – why bother?

    • Guest

      Well, I married the last woman I had sex with on the first date. And it lasted for 20 years. You can view that two different ways :)

      If you can get the milk for free, why wouldn’t you buy the cow to corner the market?

  • Just A Guy

    I don’t think men “love pursuing their prey”. We love having sex and would much prefer not to have to go through all the steps to get there. Women want to feel safe and all that before having sex- which is understandable- but men don’t have that need, except in the safe-sex department. That’s honest and true. ;) But I agree that the third date is appropriate unless you’re both drawn to each other in some crazy lustful way. It’s happened to me once or twice. Rare magic, though.

    • Adam

      I agree, I HATE pursuing. I don’t even date. It’s a waste of my time and girls don’t usually like me anyway. So why try to convince them? I’ll have to wait until I have something they want, lots of money, connections, or fame. Don’t agree w/ the 3 date thing that is WAAAAYYYY to soon. I was friends w/ a girl for 2 years, we started dating, 3 months later we had the sexy. 4 months later I broke up w/ her. Now we barley talk, I wish we never dated and just stayed good friends 4 life. I miss her everyday.

  • Cat

    I agree with waiting at least for a couple of weeks of dating. It does allow that time to get to know one another. In some of my past dating encounters, I REALLY liked the guy the first couple of times we went out, but then some some red flags that were deal breakers. I was always happier when I walked away from those relationships and without having sex, it just made it easier to move on. I felt like I didn’t “give” up a part of myself to someone I am no longer interested in having in my life.
    I will add, that I don’t like to wait “too” long, because chemistry in bed is still an important ingredient to a passionate intimate relationship. I would not like to wait two or three months, just to find out, “uh-oh, this isn’t going to work.”

  • Single in the Okanagan

    I, too, am in the “golden girl” category and prefer to hold back on sex in new relationships until I have a better sense of where it’s going. Sex is important to me and I don’t want to waste/invest the energy if the signs aren’t auspicious. As with the earlier comment from Golden Girl, third or fourth date sounds more my style.

    • Adam

      3rd or 4th date? How about 20th? And I’m a guy who hasn’t had any in 6 years.

  • Fiftynsexy

    As a senior I agree with wanting to make sure the male counterpart can function still as old school I can’t just jump into bed with anyone I just met I have to have some kind of feeling for that person before I can have sex with them if not hell I would just prostitute myself and at least make money for putting out!

    • Content

      I agree, I’m in my early 40′s and I like to take my time to get to know if this man is someone I want to share the emotional/intimate side with. Sex is attached to many emotions and I don’t want to invest in someone who’s not worth it. Therefore, I may take a little time just get to know them? Call me old fashioned but It works 4 me.

  • Emerald

    I am a middle aged woman and have been told by men that I am aggressive and in control like they are haha (My occupation is sales) If I meet a man on the first date and feel that spark or energy than sometimes I say yes to sex on the first date!! This doesn’t happen that often because I have yet to meet my friend and lover for long term. So, I will continue to have fun dating & hopefully will meet my “Match” soon.

    • LifeLongWWEFan

      I like an aggressive Woman :)

  • seniorVBguy

    1 in 10 men and 1 in 50 women have sex on the first date ? That is possible if women go on 5 times as many first dates as men, to find a guy worth having sex with. From what I have gleaned, women get 10 to 100 times as many e-mails from men as the reverse. Lots more dating opportunities for the women. The crappy men make the good guys get lucky oftener.

    I’ve yet to get to a 3rd date in two years. I also don’t drink, and am very active at my age. Most women are less active, love wine tasting and traveling. In groups.

    Men a woman likes me, sex is often. I can wait.

  • truelove

    I found this survey very interesting…… Did they not “poll” the men in Arizona? Because my “Match” dating experience has been, fairly aggressive tries by the men on the first meet with that dreaded walk to the car! The press you up against your car and go in for the “deep” kissing and breast grab attempts :( And, it seems like even with no chemistry at all, these men feel the need to atleast give it the “College Try”. I find the same answers and responses “At your age, what are saving it for? We are both adults”….

    For this reason, I have been turned off by the dating scene and dread meeting a new person. I am sure there are many men out there with manners and respect for who they are with, but for the most part? I think it is just instinct and our genetic make up that creates, on their behalf, a “Atleast it was worth a shot” attitude……

    I guess some of us are looking for getting to know someone and actually liking them before the sex thing……. others dont want to be alone and enjoy feeling of intimacy, even if its with someone they dont actually know, or may never see again.

    I dont think there is a right or wrong answer to when it appropriate to have sex…..I think it is everyones right to decide for themselves.

    • Carol

      I agree! There is no right or wrong answer as to when to have sex. It is up to the individuals.

    • MAXINE

      THANK YOU TRUE LOVE FOR STATING THE TRUTH! GOOD LUCK IN THE DATING FIELD. YES, THERE ARE A FEW NICE MEN WITH MANNERS OUT THERE…. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT!!

    • Really?

      I just moved to Arizona almost a year ago and was newly single before the move. I’m from the East coast and it seems the guys out here are a different breed. Would love to compare notes!! Have had quite a few forward guys contact me just looking to hook up!! What’s with that!?!

  • beegeedude

    Ladies, don’t let guys force you if you’re not ready! Some of us still have “old fashioned” morals, and would rather make love to a single partner for life rather than just have sex with whoever comes along.

    • umgowa

      in this world its nice to know am not the only guy who agrees with you on this one good call dude

    • Adam

      I wish ALL woman were like that. I can’t ever get married knowing a bunch of guys screwed my wife, and now I’m getting the leftovers.

    • Daizy

      That’s awesome! If only more men were of your character!

    • Lookingstill

      Wow you are among the few which is too bad. I’ve had “deal breakers’ because I insisted that sex wasn’t what I was looking for. It was a long lasting partner that I could “make love” to for life. Nicely put.

  • Gail Works

    I recently met a man on Match, and we shared a goodnight kiss (after 5 hour first date), but the minute I allowed that to happen, it was like the floodgates open. The man wanted to have sex the next day! Sorry, dude, not happening

  • white-black president

    the women usually decide within 10 minutes if they are interested in having sex with a guy….it’s up to him to screw that up.

    • Adam

      Wow, that sucks for me then.

  • ronnie

    I’m not aan that disrespects any women I give all the respect they need if she doesn’t want to do anything that’s fine with me I will treat her right

  • Opinion on 1st date sex

    On the first date… or the 2nd, 3rd, 4th… or whatever – to kiss, hold hands, simply touch hands… or any number of sexual acts, including intercourse with penetration – it is entirely the decision and preference of the two individuals. Furthermore what one does may vary from 1st date to 1st date… or whatever the number is… from one person to the other. Overall – with the women I have dated (I am male) it has varied. In some instances… sex never occurred and there was no 2nd date because of insufficient mutual attraction. In some instances sex happened by the 4th-5th date if attraction/desire was mutual. In some instances the mutual attraction was extremely strong and immediate… and passionate sex occurred – not only on the 1st date but as soon as possible within that date. Trying to “set rules” or even suggest guidelines is futile… what happens on any date – 1st or otherwise – is entirely up to the two people having the date! And… all “1st dates” do not have to follow the same sequence/pattern, etc. of events.

    • Carol

      I am female, and totally agree that there are no rules on sex and 1st dates. It is clearly up to the couple.

    • Adam

      omg. you’ve had sex w/ a girl by the 4th or 5th date? That’s incredible! So all I have to do is go out w/ a girl for a week and by the end, we’ll have sex? oh… “if attraction/desire was mutual”. oh ok. Well your lucky if that happened to you.

    • Jackwagon1313

      Well said !

  • ronnie

    I’m looking for a honest relationship that has no strings atatched

  • jemblue

    So 10% of men have sex on the first date but only 2% of women? How does that work?

    • aRareSaneOne

      A few females (shouldn’t really call them women, with this behavior) really get a lot of action on that first date, sounds like 5x the rest

    • Westcoastgurl

      The remaining 8% of women didn’t want to admit it! Unfortunately, there is still a double standard in society.

    • icallbs

      Exactly what I was thinking…

      Unless that 8% of men is having sex with other men, or there is misrepresentation in the survey (men overstating, or women understating it) the math just doesn’t add up. :)

    • Frank Ragsdale

      At least 8% of the women don’t tell the truth!

    • Just Me

      NO! 10% & 2% think it’s appropriate. That doesn’t mean they’re doing it.

    • S.M.

      Are you saying you don’t understand the statistic. Makes perfect sense to me.

    • DougV

      Those 2% are getting around…

  • Marcello

    2%??? Absolutely not true.

    • AZ girl

      Sex on the first, second, or third date? Why should anyone feel compelled to live up to numbers and statistics? Intimacy is just that, being intimate with someone you know WELL, how can that happen after only 3 dates?

  • Hard Truth

    Willful Ignorance
    I can sympathize with your desire for information. For our part, men want to know whether a woman enjoys sex enough that she won’t withdraw into frigidity when the initial infatuation fades. But that’s not a good excuse for unprotected sex, and the dating pool—in every age category and at every socioeconomic level—is full of otherwise-intelligent people who are willfully ignorant about the risks. The CDC estimates that there are 19 million STD infections a year, most recently to that attractive and well-educated woman you met over coffee last week.

  • Curious

    Is this stat representative of any form of sex including oral or just intercourse? Wonder how that stat would change.

  • jdawn

    If a person has sex on the first date simply don’t expect a call back. I have a one month minimal rule. It gives me enough time to get to know him however not too overly attached so if he leaves after having sex and that was simply all he wanted, I can bouncy back easier.

  • Army nurse

    I am 41 and have found that if I wanted, I could go on 2-3 dates a day. And that would be a lot of sex! There is a reason for courting. It’s the friendship and remembering why you fell in love with someone that reinforces the relationship when rocky patches come along. Sex on the first date wraps you up in a lot of emotions that may end up getting you really hurt. It’s harder to see flaws in a partner if you’re in a fog of lust for them.

  • Nita Parikh

    How man can sleep with so manny woman at same time ??

  • helmet 580

    Helmet- there are men who don’t reveal nothing. we have learned from our mother’s to always test the cookie before you buy it. we have a limited life span, come on true women help us out.

  • Owens Wilmoth

    Organic, Individual passion is the rule of thumb here. Women call it ‘chemistry’ but if one isn’t entertaining an intimate relationship at the outset, the state of arousal will come about only when their parents compel the relationship. Respective levels of maturity and native IQ determine the quality and breath of continuing on. The only caveat here is where you have a gentleman (who would never make an untoward gesture) encountering a conservative lady (faith based) and nothing happens save for ongoing polite and civil association. Evolutionary women dictate who their mates are at the outset (within 15 seconds). And only weak types succumb to overbearing, romantic ardor.

  • Lucille Strazza

    The Best is Yet to Come!!!
    Sex on a 1st Date??? Are you All Crazy!!! I’ve never even kissed on a 1st. date & I NEVER had a problem!!! Matter of Fact …the guy’s were Very Impressed !!!
    Of-cause the fact that I was and still very pretty w/a great figure didn’t hurt either
    I lost my husband several year’s ago. Just started dating. Still don’t have a problem! The fact that I was Miss. NYS in the Miss Universe Pag. & heads still turn…doesn’t hurt either. All I can say is that a gut wants to feel Special!!!
    Try it, Gals…you may just find that guys don’t appreciate anything that comes Easy!!!

  • Paula Magnuson

    personally i follow the word of God , it saves a person from bonding to the wrong person .no sex before marriage !

  • Single mom

    What about online dating? If you get to know someone over a period of say 4-6 months and then meet, is sex then still not appropriate?

  • Adam

    Dating is NOT….or SHOULD NOT be finding out if a person is a good lay. People SHOULD date to figure out if a person is compatible w/ your personality and if your lives can work together through the ups and downs of LIFE. NOT whether or not your going to have good sex during that time? Example: Oh yeah He/She was really great we had such a great time, we really connected w/ each other, had the same goals, laughed our heads off, and had really good conversations, Then we had sex on the 3rd date, and there was really nothing there, so I won’t be seeing Him/Her again. What is with you Humans?! You are supposed to be civilized, supposed to be above the animals. One of the reasons I’m SO disappointed and embarrassed to be one of you.

  • rfitzwell

    My recent experiences is that women will unknowingly decide either the first date or when they will want to have sex and emit sex vibes or pheromones which will cause an arousal in men. Testerone has nothing to do with it. The man may not have any real attraction. I have even asked women why they are doing it and some say they can’t help it. But guys, just wait and the woman will come on to you. They want to make sure that you can satisfy them sexually. There are at least 40 percent of women who can’t climax or have vaginal orgasms and I ask this on the first date. After all, if you like the person, you will want to satisfy them. These women will take a bit more time and creativity. And remember that it is not the woman giving anything to you.
    I insist that when I go on a date that the woman pays for her own meal or dutch as it is called. This way a guy won’t be stuck with a large bill and no chance of a meaningful relationship. Some women julst want a free meal

  • AustinConservative

    Sadly, it’s easy to confuse lust and love. People get caught up in lust, get their sexual relationship going very soon into a dating relationship, and once that happens they don’t really get to know each other that well past that point. Their focus is on their sexual relationship, so they don’t know if they’re compatible on other levels too. I. e. do you share similar values, hopes, dreams, goals for your respective lives? Do you have similar ideas about how to relate to family, how to handle money, how to spend free time outside of the bedroom, etc…? My opinion, leave sex for later in the relationship, after you’ve had a chance to get to know the other person on other levels. You don’t want to get caught up in lust, thinking you’re in love, marrying and then end up divorcing because you were never truly in love, and the lust waned. Just my humble opinion.

    • Redhead

      Your response was excellent! It hit the mark in every way. Question is where can you meet such a person – haven’t found him yet! Maybe most people just settle for what they can get – good or bad. Once married, they just get into a comfortable rut and stay there. That was my awful fear.

  • I’m Bill

    Where do the 2% live? ;)
    I’ve done both ~ First Night & Waiting it out… Can’t say there was a difference. I personally don’t understand setting boundaries on ‘when’ to have sex. Maybe it’s just a personal opinion – live for the moment ~ life’s to short whether it’s the first date, fifth date – if the moment is right, enjoy it to the fullest, it may never happen again…or…maybe it’s just the beginning!! :)

  • madbeachbud

    I think everyone likes a little intrigue. I enjoy getting to know people and see if we have something to build on. When i was young all those hormones played a big part. Now that I am older common sense plays a bigger part.

  • Aline Roy

    interesting, but it depends at what stage we are in our lives and also what we’re looking for, one night stand or a longer relationship.

  • John Bellevue

    Hate to say it but when ladies put up a magical timeframe on when to have sex they inadvertently make it into some type of prize or something. In some senses it minimizes everything else you have to offer when you hold the sex up on some type of pedestal. I can understand virgins or for religious reasons, but for the mainstream dater looking for a relationship it turns it into a game that most serious guys don’t really enjoy playing. If you want to have sex; then do it, if not; then don’t. It’s not about a chase and guys disappearing after they get it, because trust me; if it was amazing we will be back for more (as much as we can get). Also, the sooner you can get that issue off the table the faster you can get into more real issues of compatibility without it hanging over your head. Just a contrarian’s thought…

  • Supahguy

    As a scientist I realize that the feeling of longing and desire create the chemical PEA in the brain that is AKA the love drug. If I think a woman is attractive but, not viable as a long term candidate I am much more likely to attempt sex on the 1st or 2nd date. Anybody I am really attracted to I would rather postpone sex until the 3rd, 4th of even 5th date. Waiting for sex w/ somebody you are really attracted to is like waiting for Christmas morning and usually well worth the wait. So ladies, if you are over the age of 25 and the man wants to have sex w/ you right away then he IMO is probably not very serious about you and thinks of you as merely a hookup and not long-term relationship material. Women I could actually see a future w/ I myself put on the brakes a time or two. That being said, I personally consider a dating site a tool to allow one to get to know people faster and therefore if you have talked online that may set the groundwork for sex on an earlier date w/ somebody you are truly interested in.

  • Daliah Bryant

    First date sex is fine as long as it is meaningful. You both should be attentive enough to understand why the decision was made to go beyond kissing and hugging. Adults should not act as children when sharing their true nature with someone they truly like and care for. Love as you would like to be loved even in a sexual and playful manner without worrying what others might say. It’s too easy to screw it up! Unfortunately most do.

  • JR

    Sex on the first date is risky – for both physical and mental health. That said, I am a little suspicious about the % of those who admit to having had sex on the first date – I believe it to be much higher – based on my personal experience and those of my male and female friends. I am over 50, so maybe it is more common for the older gen to jump ‘all in’ earlier. A habit from our free-spirited youth?

    Waiting a week or two is a good rule. By then, you should know if your potential partner is a psycho/stalker, totally self-involved, looking for a sugar daddy, or someone that might just work out (the best 2 – 3 weeks can provide). This assumes that you have personally seen each other more than a couple of times.

  • nuria

    How about when you meet someone and after a week that person tells you that he is in love with you and loves you and want to be with you forever,

  • Blue-eyed blonde

    To Eugene: your comments are sexist and archaic. I would imagine the only way you ever get lucky or even a second date is if you keep your mouth shut.

    Oh and Eugene, when a women says “no” she is not doing it just to be coy or to save her reputation. I know that’s probably what YOU have told yourself all these years. No means no big boy.

    We women know what we want and know when we want it. If you’re not dating a women mature enough to express those feelings maybe you should be. If the relationship is not progressing then a women should be honest enough to say so and stop accepting dates, in a kind way. If the feelings are increasing and it is mutual then physical closeness should increase as both parties are comfortable. Although I have ended a relationship because by the third date a guy that was into me had done nothing more than kissed me on the cheek. At 45 if a man has that little confidence I do not wish to be an instructor. Just being honest. Women prefer a man who is confident but not cocky, kind but not smothering, attentive but not oppressive. Having a confident and secure woman in your life does not equate emasculation. We want our man to be a man, we are there to support and encourage.

  • Berth Ljunggren

    I sure have no rush to get into bed, looking for a long term relationship so i can wait a while.

    As a very shy man i hate the “hunt” with women just sitting there doing nothing, where is the equal part in this, if she is interested show it don’t sit wait for me to do something.

  • Imogene

    Robert, I know that not all men are “hunters” but, in over 30 years, I’ve met more than my share. As a woman who invaded the corporate Good-Old Boys club in the early 70′s (at 21), I had to hide in my hotel room every day after a meeting or class. How tired am I after taking 2-3 elevators just to keep the most determined of “conventioneers” from finding out my room number?

  • Cartman.

    In my experience, she wants to be the one to slow you down. It’s almost like if you didn’t try that you didn’t like her.

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  • socaldano

    hmmm, 2% admit to having sex on first date.
    I found that many women will, but won’t admit it.
    Besides, 2% is not enough to give credence to the one night stand.

    I have learned, that most will do it on the first date if they like you.
    If they don’t by the third date, it probably will not happen. Likely because he is a placeholder rather then someone of interest.

    Appropriate and in practice are two completely different things