Amp up your dating life: Reclaim your "me" time by Money Crashers

Heather Levin lives in Michigan and is an avid reader and green living enthusiast. She shares her best life and money tips on Money Crashers Personal Finance.

When’s the last time you made time for you?

When you’re on online dating scene, it’s easy to slip into the habit of constantly looking outward for your “perfect companion.” However, when you shift your focus inward and start doing things you love, something happens: Spending time alone becomes a pleasure. When this happens, you inadvertently become more interesting and desirable to others. We all can sense when someone is doing something he or she loves, and we’re instinctively drawn to that trait. Plus, by pursuing your own interests, and perhaps joining new groups and communities, you could happen to meet that special person you’ve been looking for all along.

To get started, though, you may need to change some old habits and integrate some new ones:

1. Turn Off the TV

According to the latest Nielsen ratings, the average American spends almost 33 hours per week watching TV. This is almost a full-time job! So watch less TV each night, and put that time to better use. Pick up a hobby, practice yoga, learn a foreign language, spend time with your friends, start a business. Do something – anything – you’ve always wanted to do, but never had time for.

2. Visit Local Museums

Have you ever been to your local art museum? What about the aquarium, the history museum, or the science center? Most major cities are teeming with fascinating museums and exhibits. Often, though, only a fraction of people ever visit these local gems.

When you open yourself up to new experiences, you give yourself the opportunity to change and grow. This could give you the perspective to be that much more grateful and appreciative of your own situation, as well as the situations of others. You can then turn this into a first date idea and share your experience with someone new.

3. Read More

The National Endowment of the Arts compiled an in-depth study of the nation’s reading habits in 2007, and in short, Americans are reading less than ever.

When you read for pleasure, you create a picture of the characters and the scene in your mind, and you feel the feelings and mood on a much deeper level than is possible through television. Reading helps you develop empathy for others. Your newfound understanding of people could help you be a more tolerant person and give you more insight when you meet those you have a hard time relating to.

Want to be more interesting? Make time every day to read for pleasure.

Final Thoughts

Remember, whenever you follow your heart and pursue interests and activities that resonate with you, you’re going to grow as a person and naturally attract more desirable experiences into your life. This growth will be apparent to everyone around you, including those people you’re interested in dating. Plus, you’ll be better prepared for a healthy and long-lasting partnership since you’ll have developed the skills and habits to also enjoy spending time by yourself.

What tips can you suggest to become a more interesting, well-rounded person?

  • It is definitely so important that you actually have a life, rather than trying to find someone else with a life to latch on to. And the tip to turn off the TV and do something else with the time is a very good one. It’s unlikely that you are going to become a more interesting and attractive person by essentially wasting 33 hours of your spare time a week.

  • Ben

    Excellent article. I have been watching more TV lately and needed a reason to refocus on my pleasure reading. Very good point about being more interesting to others when you are within your own happy space.