First Date Flubs: What Not to Do

Dating is complicated, especially when it comes to the most influential and determining date of all: the first date. Most of us have experienced a handful of “bad dates,” so we tried to nail down the most common dating crimes people commit in order to help the incessant offenders. We asked our Facebook community, “What is the biggest turn-off on a Match.com first date?” and scoured the answers to come up with the best examples of what NOT to do. Ladies and gents- take out your pens and papers and consider these your new “golden rules” for a first date.

“To my horror, my date started snapping their fingers at the waitress. Oh no you didn’t!”
This goes for either party- many people take note of the way you interact with those serving you. How others treat the waiter is like a magical window into your character. They say to “never bite that hand that feeds you,” and we’ll add in “as they have access to your food before you do.” ‘Nuff said.

“It’s not like they have to dress overly nice, but their sneakers looked like they did some heavy gardening before our date.”
People, people: if your match made the effort to come meet you for a date, you should make the effort to change out of your favorite sweatpants before you show up to your date. Dressing decently tells the other person, “I care about this date and I don’t just indent couch cushions for a living.”

“They talked so much about themselves I felt like a therapist!”When it comes to a date, try to squeeze in some questions about the other person in between excessive uses of “me” and “I.” Not allowing your date to talk about themselves can give the perception of disinterest and narcissism.

“I felt like I was a guest on of Jerry Springer with all their swear words!”
Sounding like a sailor on a first date is not the best way to set sail on your first date. Though sometimes curse words slip out in a conversation, try to consciously outlaw those taboo four-letter words. Too many swear words could have you unconsciously telling your date to get the bleep out of there.

“Their high-maintenance ordering. I wanted to ask if we should have gone to Burger King so they could just have it their way.”
“Can I get a cheeseburger with no cheese, cooked medium well, not too hot, with a side of fries no salt, and a water with 3 lemons no ice?” If your order sounds something like this, you might want to tame down the diva in you while on your date. Excessive, off-the-menu requests may end up making you sound like a prima donna instead of a prime candidate for a second date.

“They were chewing with their mouth open like an animal gnawing on cud. Need I say more?”
Remember when you were summoned to the secluded kids’ table next to booger-eating cousin Billy? There was a reason Mom & Dad didn’t want you playing with your food on the nice linens. Since you have probably graduated to the big kids’ table by now, it is time to start acting like it. Use your best manners on your date, simple as that.

“Texting is the worse. You can get a breath mint and showing up late sometimes can’t be avoided. But choosing your phone over your date is just wrong.”
Daters, though you may treat your phone like your virtual soul mate, try your best to avoid your digital companion during a date. Whether you deem yourself a multi-tasker or not, you are never as present or attentive to your date as you could be when you are busy with your phone. What may seem like meaningless electronic conversation could actually be considered rude, impersonal, and make you seem disinterested. So step away from the phone… though you may not believe it, you will survive- and maybe even thrive- in the dating world.

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  • Grif

    I really enjoy reading this, i want more of this lesson thanks alot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cynthia Rudolph

    I have seen all of these done. Another thing you might wanna put in is when you just meet someone DON”T call them hun, honey, babe, baby, sweetheart, darling, lovely. or anything else. we all have names our parents gave us, show some respect and use that. No one has earned the right to name someone they just meet.

  • http://MATCH.COM DARA

    OMG the Burger king thing so me.. Thanks for the words. I will not do this on a date. I will tame the diva down.. lol.. I laughed my butt off that was so funny.

  • Jimmy Falco

    Yep. One of my female friends told me that she stopped seeing a guy because he treated the waitress like a slave. I don’t know if he went so far as to snap his fingers at her, but she stopped returning his calls for that reason alone. I’m still new to this whole online dating thing, and enjoyed this one. Been browsing around, and came across this guy who’s apparently been online dating for over two years, and he tells all. Awesome read…

    http://www.daveglenn.com/2011/03/dave-glenns-guide-to-online-dating/

    If anyone knows any other helpful sites out there, plz let me know!

    -J

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  • http://www.weekenddating.com/nyc.shtml Speed Dating NYC

    I think a major flub is not thanking the guy afterwards if he paid for dinner or wherever you went on the date.