The Rules of Engagement: Dating in America

Angry Girl

With more than 105 million singles in the United States, or one-third of the population, the singles scene remains a competitive playing field. Match.com, the leading online dating network, has taken an in-depth look at the behavior of singles and uncovered new dating habits based on a groundbreaking study of more than 5,000 single Americans. This unprecedented research has found that, while some traditional dating do’s and don’ts still exist, the playing field has definitely changed.

”The rules have changed,” said Whitney Casey, Relationship Expert for Match.com.  “It’s time to update your playbook.  This new study reveals the many questions singles are starting to ask in the modern age of dating – from texting to friending on Facebook.”

Specific highlights include:

  • Tradition Still Applies - Men, women still expect you to make the first move and ask a lady out, and although 41% of women would offer to pick up the check on a first date, a majority of men (37%) still feel they should foot the bill.
  • Bailout Plan – Both men and women agree that 15 minutes into the date is long enough to tell if there is chemistry (31%). However, if the date isn’t going as planned, only 12% of singles would actually call it a night and leave within the first 30 minutes of the date.
  • Thanks, but No Thanks – If your date isn’t getting the hint that you aren’t a match made in heaven, most singles feel that honesty is the best policy.  52% of those surveyed agree you should politely explain you aren’t interested, followed by 24% of singles who recommend being evasive about your future availability. However, younger singles are most likely to ignore your calls and send you straight to voicemail.
  • Too Fast on a First Date? – Only 6.5% of singles claim they have frequently had sex on the first date, while 80% of singles disapprove of ending the date between the sheets.
  • Making the Call – 48% of women prefer men to make thefollow-up call after the first date. A majority of men (68%) will pick up the phone between one to three days after the date, while 6% of men can’t resist following up within the first 24 hours.
  • There’s No Place Like Phone - Although 64% of singles are open to having post-date conversations via text and email, more than 80% of singles still prefer conversations on the phone.
  • To Friend or Not to Friend? – Younger singles (ages 21-34) think it’s OK to add a date as a Facebook friend after 2-3 dates (26%), while 11% of singles between the ages of 35-44 wait to friend a date on Facebook until it becomes an exclusive relationship.
  • Meet the Guys – Yes, it is OK to introduce your new romantic interest to the ones who know you best.  Men are more likely to introduce someone they’re interested in to their friends within the first month of dating than women are, regardless of their age group (nearly 50% of men vs. 35% of women).

Additional results and tips for the new rules of dating are available at http://blog.match.com/dating-rules

  • http://windowslivemsn jeff

    i agree this is good ideal but it also bring out the unwanted kind , like, the ones who hide and cheat ,steal and hurt the one ones who arejust looking for a honest relationship.
    so i think mabey re thinking how to screen these types someway which i do no know of myself !!!!

  • Pingback: The Rules of Engagement: Dating in America « Official Match.com Blog | best free dating site

  • Pingback: The Rules of Engagement: Dating in America « Official Match.com Blog | best free dating site

  • Fernando Ardenghi

    “Match Finds The Rules of Dating Have Changed and Tradition Still Applies – Men, women still expect you to make the first move and ask a lady out.”
    ???
    Please compare with “Me, My Spouse And The Internet Project” supported by a grant from eHarmony.

    http://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/publications/Me-MySpouse_GlobalReport.pdf

  • http://www.andthatswhyyouresingle.com AndhatsWhyYoureSingle

    “Although 64% of singles are open to having post-date conversations via text and email, more than 80% of singles still prefer conversations on the phone.”

    I’m curious to see how this particular question was worded on this survey. I find this highly dubious.

    “Making the Call – 48% of women prefer men to make the follow-up call after the first date. A majority of men (68%) will pick up the phone between one to three days after the date, while 6% of men can’t resist following up within the first 24 hours. ”

    When it comes to online dating, none of the traditional rules should apply. There’s too many ways for peopel to meet and connect. Nobody should be waiting for anyone to call or text. Like them? Let them know and suggest you go out again. You have nothing to lose.

  • Pingback: The Rules of Engagement: Dating in America « Official Match.com Blog :: Luv 4 Life

  • Pingback: The Rules of Engagement: Dating in America « Official Match.com Blog :: Luv 4 Life

  • Pingback: Would You Have Sex On The First Date? | WIZNation - Cincinnati's Home for the Hip-Hop Community

  • Pingback: Sex On The First Date; Do You? | ELEV8

  • Pingback: Sex On The First Date; Do You? | MyPraiseATL - Praise 102.5 Atlanta's Home for the Gospel Community

  • Pingback: Sex On The First Date; Do You? | TheBoxHouston - KBXX 97.9 Houston's Home for the Hip-Hop Community

  • Pingback: Sex On The First Date; Do You? | MyMajicDC - Majic 102.3 DC's Home for the Adult Urban Community

  • John

    On what planet is 37% a majority?

  • http://femaleoptimizer.blogspot.com Nicole Smith

    Yeah… good posting. I like “Making the Call”. :) .

  • Pingback: The Rules in Modern Dating: Is Sex on the First Date OK? | Beyond Black Beauty

  • http://www.getexback247.com Rose

    I had no trouble getting a guy’s attention, but the ones I seemed to attract weren’t after commitment. I would tell myself that if I tried hard enough and became the woman I thought he wanted me to be, eventually I would strike it lucky and find a nice one. But in time I realized that love isn’t about “luck” or “love at first sight,” it’s not about being his version of the ideal woman, and it’s not about using your unhappy childhood or a bad experience with a guy from your past as an excuse or justification for your current dating dilemma.

    To get the RIGHT man and succeed in seduction and relationships, I had to realize it all starts with ME and MY attitude and irresistible attraction mindset.

  • Pingback: Rules of Modern Dating: Is Sex on the First Date OK? | Dating Drive

  • Pingback: The Aperitif: Campari and Orange

  • http://www.loserorlover.com LoserOrLover

    Oh my… I can not imagine bailing that fast on a date. What if the person if nervous or shy? You must give a little more time.

  • http://www.speeddatingkits.com Jenny

    The only problem I see in America is most Americans want it now. Americans tend to have a fast food mentality. People need to slow down and view every person as an individual and get to know them not based on a checklist but who they are. There is no reason a person should not complete a date if they had committed to a date, come on if you can not commit to a few hours then are you really ready for a relationship.

  • Pingback: Would You Have Sex On The First Date? | 101.1 The Wiz

  • http://gravatar.com/earlmook E

    “The only problem I see in America is most Americans want it now. Americans tend to have a fast food mentality. People need to slow down and view every person as an individual and get to know them not based on a checklist but who they are. There is no reason a person should not complete a date if they had committed to a date, come on if you can not commit to a few hours then are you really ready for a relationship.”

    This comment is so true posted by Jenny on Feb 2nd!! Honestly I would blame more of the women for this cause way to many single women have this I want to know if he’s dating material within like I would say more like 5 to 10 minutes. Women wonder why they aren’t getting anywhere with men? Cause that scares men OFF and puts WAY to much pressure on men cause so many single women these days have this “he needs to be “Perfect” mentality. Men are like well I just put together a nice date (nice restaurant, nice activity) and then all she wants to do is snub the date, get up within like 5- 10 min, stomp, and moan that it wasn’t “perfect”. It’s not going to be “perfect”, and dating takes TIME!!! The only thing within like 5-10 minutes your going to be able to tell is if both her and him don’t have anything to talk about, that’s obviously not going to work. But a lot of women keep snubbing men cause they are looking for “perfect” which there is not such thing as “perfect” and men are throwing their hands in the air and are like why put much of any effort into dates if all she’s going to do is throw a fit cause she has this fantasy la la crap built into her head.

  • Erik

    My cousin Brenda told her husband Bill Lowe that before she would agree to marry him he hand to put a big diamond on her finger and $20,000 cash in her hands. This was after two years of dating. As the SE regional VP of Cannon you would think Bill would be a good catch and not have to pay a woman to marry him. I have known a lot of women who seem very fixated on how much a perspective mate makes just not quite to this extent. Perhaps Brenda is not that much different than most young women. She is just brazen enough to ask for what she wants. It seems we went from the era of Free Love to the ear of the Material Girl.

  • Pingback: The Ins and Outs: The lowdown on first-date sex | Golden Gate Xpress

  • Pingback: Dating Around the World- Couple